The Burning Pen


Professor Snape Loses It
by Ruth Solomon

The story content is adult in nature and can contain graphic sex and violence. Those under the age of 18 are asked to leave this site immediately. You are not welcome here. The author is not responsible for those under-aged who view these works.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to JK Rowlings. No money is being made from this story.

This unlikely little story idea was given to me by one of my reviewers, LadyTalon, and I thought it was brilliant, and would be challenging to write. So kudos to the Lady, and thank you for this wonderful idea.

Chapter 1 ~ A Startling Revelation

"Minerva! You have to be kidding us…there’s no way that can be true…can it?" Professor Sprout said, sipping her firewhiskey, her round eyes made even rounder by Minerva’s news

Minerva nodded. "Albus let it slip to me one night after we…well…you know Albus," she said, coloring, "He said he didn’t understand how he managed without …well…getting any ever."

Madam Hooch laughed out loud. "Who would have believed it. It’s too rich! As dark and forbidding as he is, you would have figured he’d not only had fucked women, but tortured them too. This is too good!"

Twenty-two year old Hermione sat sipping her Orgasm, and listening to the other witches cackling over this latest bit of astounding news. They were having a Girl’s Night Out at the Three Broomsticks, and Professor McGonagal had just informed them of a well kept secret that had finally reached the light of day.

Professor Severus Snape was a virgin. He had never touched pussy in his life.

"I wonder why?" Hermione said quietly. Minerva looked at her.

"Why what, Hermione?" she asked, twirling her little umbrella in her drink.

"Why the Professor has never had sex," Hermione said.

Minerva leaned forward, as did all the other witches.

"Well, Albus explained that to me too. Severus was never popular with the girls at Hogwarts as a student. Too dark, too strange. He joined the Dark Lord at the age of seventeen, and it’s said after the first night he witnessed a Revel, he took impotence potions to keep from having to participate. But he still had to watch, and it affected him badly to see how the women suffered. Even after the Dark Lord’s death, he never approached a woman for sex. Albus has talked to him repeatedly, and even though Severus admitted he is attracted to women, he just never went for one. A shame really."

"I’ll say," Madam Pomfrey chimed in, "I’ve seen him naked during treatments for the Cruciatus curse, and he is hung like a hippogriff! A very well-endowed hippogriff!"

All the witches tittered at this, except Hermione, who looked thoughtful. No wonder he was so fucking snarky. Thirty-nine years old and never having experienced sex.

"Somebody needs to pop his cherry," the young witch said, speaking her thought out loud.

The older witches all looked at her.

"Oh my dear, witches have tried, believe me. Professor Snape has an appeal to certain witches who find him incredibly sexy. But he showed no interest. Even hexed a couple of them. When he says ‘no’ he means it. I never understood why before, until Albus told me," Minerva said, downing her drink.

Hermione finished her drink and stared at the empty glass. She hadn’t been in a relationship in over a year, was young, unattached and experienced. And she had always liked a challenge. She was on staff at Hogwarts as a Spells Mistress, having completed university in record time, doubling her classes so she earned her degree in two years instead of four. Her lab was in the dungeon area, right next to Professor Snape’s. She drummed her fingers on the tabletop, like she always did when trying to figure out a puzzling question. Minerva looked at her.

"Hermione Granger! You are thinking about trying to seduce Professor Snape!" she exclaimed. The other witches all looked at her with varying degrees of amazement. Madam Hooch grinned lasciviously.

"Go for it, Hermione. After thirty-nine pussyless years, I bet he’s ready to give somebody a rough ride," she said, licking her lips. "If I were a bit younger, I’d stun him and fuck him in a second."

"Stunning him would take all the fun out of it. He has to fuck back for it to be really good, Rolanda," Madam Sprout said. She was rather red-faced, she had about five Poison Ivys.

"Well, I wouldn’t stun him," Hermione said thoughtfully.

"Like I said, Hermione, a lot of witches have tried to get him interested and failed," Minerva said, "Unless you have something under your skirt the rest of us don’t, I don’t see you getting anything stiff from Severus other than some dried potion ingredient."

"That’s the problem right there, Minerva," Hermione said, "Those woman were counting on their sexual organs. You know I use logic to get the desired results. I will seduce him using my brain."

"Your brain?" Minerva said disbelievingly before dissolving into laughter with the other witches. "Hermione, I admit you are extremely intelligent, but your brain?"

"Yes," said Hermione. "I simply have to come up with a foolproof plan to get Severus Snape to fuck me. It’s a challenge, and you know I love a challenge, Minerva."

"Sounds to me like a good way to make a few extra galleons," said Madam Hooch, reaching into her clutch and drawing out some coins. "Ten galleons that Hermione fucks Severus. Any takers?"

"Give me some of that," said Madam Sprout, reaching in her pocket and drawing out some galleons. The women placed their bets, Hermione watching them silently. Every one bet against her except Madam Hooch, who turned her yellow eyes on her.

"I’ve got your back, Hermione," she said, eyeing the witch, "but I’m going to be out of an asshole full of galleons if you can’t get Severus to do this. I won’t be a happy witch."

Hermione looked at her.

"When have you ever known me to make a claim I couldn’t come through on, Rolanda?" Hermione asked the witch.

"So far, you’ve come through every time," she replied.

"Trust me, Professor Severus Snape won’t know what hit him," Hermione said, her amber eyes starting to glow.

It would be a pleasure to break the cold Potions Master and make him show some heat. She was one of those witches who found him darkly attractive, and with Pomfrey’s little tip of how well the wizard was hung, combined with her lack of sexual activity for the past twelve months, Hermione thought she was long overdue for a little action.

"Okay, let’s drink to the upcoming deflowering of Severus Snape!" Madam Hooch cried, motioning to Rosmerta to send over another round. As the witches talked among themselves, Hermione sat in deep in thought.

She had a Potions Master to seduce.


A/N: I had to start right on it. The story started forming the minute I read LadyTalon’s suggestion on the review board, and I had to launch right into it. I don’t really have it plotted out yet, but I hope it will be interesting. Snape as a virgin, lord have mercy that’s delicious. Stay with me on this one, all right? Please review.

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